I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
