Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
People in love make me want to vomit
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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