I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
