matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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