the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
