is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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