have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
