Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize