You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
