he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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