I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
