Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
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Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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