actually, I'm a sock model
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
