Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
