I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
