im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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