Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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