His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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