there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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