But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
