I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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