Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
