using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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