if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
