I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I am one with the molecules
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
