I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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