So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
