Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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