yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
