is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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