i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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