i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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