I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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