I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
