I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.