I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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