i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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