brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
