their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
