we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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