I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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