Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
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he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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