Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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