Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
please come you make the beer taste better
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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