Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
