You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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