So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
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you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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