i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
