Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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