I queefed so loud it echoed.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
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I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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