He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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