so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
