he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
