I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
