Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You smell like stripper and shame
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
