WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize