There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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