I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
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his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
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In other news, I just burned my penis
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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