apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
