Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
