Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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